Lately, the Scripture, "Be still and know that I am God" is prominent in my thoughts. I feel pressed to slow down and focus on the basics: nurturing my relationship with my God, with my family, and with friends, keeping a healthy diet, exercising regularly, providing meals for the family, and keeping the house relatively clean. No outside commitments, no seeking employment outside of the home, no starting a new career, or going back to school.
The problem with taking this myopic view of my life is that I am now acutely aware of how poorly I have done in these areas. My life's agenda thus far has been avoiding pain, work, and anything else that makes me uncomfortable, so it goes without saying that I am not the model of self-care and homemaking as both require a strong foundation of discipline and hard work.
Ultimately, God is directing me to address the very things I have spent a lifetime running from. He is calling me to live in the moment and focus on what is right in front of me - my family and my responsibilities. But, what about my boredom and discontent? How am I going to get through those moments I want to bolt from my responsibilities? How am I going to get through the overwhelming need to procrastinate and self-medicate?
I need to remember that God is faithful and good and that He will help me through my uncomfortable feelings when they arise. In my moments of weakness and temptation, I need to lean on His promise to be the help in my time of need, to be my strength to get through the trials I face. This promises to be extremely difficult for me, and I believe many others. I must remember I am not a victim of my life circumstances and I am not powerless. Actually, with God I am all-powerful a force to be reckoned with! The difference lies in that which I choose to focus on, where I allow my thoughts to go.
I believe that God wants us to help one another through our difficult times, not go it alone. This goes against my natural tendency to isolate and self-soothe without having the added scrutiny of others. But, again, God is faithful and has turned up the heat forcing my willingness to do what I have been unwilling to do before. So, I have solicited a dear friend to help me, to be my attitude adjuster, to bring me back into reality when I mentally wander where I shouldn't go, for I have learned from the wisdom of AA meetings that my mind is a dangerous neighborhood; somewhere I shouldn't go alone!
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