Today the kids went back to school and my husband back to work. I was alone, once again, in my house desperately trying to figure out what I could do to stimulate my mind, and cure my loneliness. Don't get me wrong, there are tons of things I should do, but they all fall under the category of monotonous work. A category of activities that cause rashes and welts on my brain - I believe I it's an allergy thing.
Boredom, for me, turns into depression, and loneliness, unfortunately a part of homemaking nowadays, magnifies my depression.
"So why don't you go out and volunteer somewhere or take up a hobby" you might say. Two things come to mind : inconsistency and commitment shy. I am really good when I start new things: projects, hobbies, commitments, then as time goes on and my attention span has completed it's course, I am prone to inconsistency in time devoted and productivity accomplished. Because I can't stand myself in these untrustworthy moments, I tend to shy away from subjecting anyone else to my ugly fits of immaturity and selfishness.
What did I do today, and everyday really, to help me through these difficult moments? What else but eat my way through the leftover holiday sweets and drank way too many Diet Cokes.
Tomorrow, hopefully, I will win the battle against self-pity instead of becoming a victim once again.
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