I have spent my entire life focused on avoiding pain, deflecting work, shunning routines, and searching for anything to stimulate me. The results? A life marked by depression, laziness, extreme boredom, and a trail of "isms" - alcoholism, foodism, debtism, etc. (My blog. I can make up any words I like.)
I frequently turn to stimulating myself with food in order to cope with my extreme discontent in life. I have also abused alcohol, exercised compulsively, withheld food to the point of anorexia, obsessively studied, shopped myself into debt, and over committed myself to needy causes all in the pursuit of softening the edge of my discontent with my life.
I have run out of things to focus my mind on. I now sit in raw emotion.
Yet, in the midst of this self-induced chaos and negativity, God has been faithful, and is ever working to turn my chaos into good for myself and my family.
No comments:
Post a Comment